Conflicted

I woke up this morning to the news that Osama Bin Laden has been killed by Navy Seals as he hid in a million-dollar luxury compound a virtual stone's throw from the capitol city of our supposed allies in the war against terror.  There are so many emotions flowing through me right now that I almost can't get a good sense of what I'm feeling at any given moment.

My first instinct is "Heck yeah!  Take THAT you big jerk.  Enjoy your virgins you misogynistic bastard!"  But that didn't last long.  I just can't help but feel like there isn't rejoicing in Heaven right now.  As cruel and downright evil as Osama was, he was still a child of God and if God never gives up on me, he certainly would not have given up on Bin Laden, either.  I'm not sad that he's gone but I'm not really celebrating.

I'm also incredibly proud of the Navy Seals who went into the compound and managed to take him out without a single injury to U.S. forces.  That just speaks to the training and bravery of the people for whom violence is their job.  Not fun. I get the feeling that this has been a pretty frustrating 10 years for them. They've got to be feeling pretty good this morning.

It's entered my mind that the Obama administration has, so far, handled this situation pretty well.  It was smart not to try to capture him.  Just kill him and let people get on with life.  Don't waste money on a long drawn-out trial and media circus when the whole world knows he's at fault.  They buried the body at sea quickly so it can't turn into a shrine for extremists and it's all done and over with.  I feel like that was a smart way to handle it.

I also think about people who lost loved ones in the 9/11 attacks.  Does this bring closure or does it just tear off the scab?  I don't know.  I can't put myself in their place.  I've never lost a spouse or child in a terrorist attack so I just don't have a perspective on what they must be going through today.

Apparently a woman was killed in the compound because she was used as a human shield.  I guess that demonstrates pretty plainly how Osama and his ilk valued women.  How must the soldier who had to shoot her be feeling right now? I'm so glad that I serve a God who sees me as a beloved daughter and the apple of his eye rather than as a sexual reward for some man.

People are saying justice has been done.  I just feel slightly... stuck.  Was it really justice?  Justice, in my opinion, would be to take the billions of dollars that Osama had squirreled away and give it to the families of the firefighters killed on 9/11 who lost a breadwinner.  Give it to the families of soldiers killed in the last 10 years who lost a father or mother or child.  Give it to the families of people in the twin towers who were minding their own business and going to work on what they thought was a regular day until a plane crashed into their building.  Give it to the families of people who went to the Pentagon in Virginia that day just doing their jobs and going about their routines only to be suddenly surrounded by fire and terror.  Give it to the families of the brave people who crashed their plane in a field rather than let someone else be harmed.  I don't think it was really justice so much as a warning.  This is kind of a "Don't Tread on Me" flag.  "If you attack us, we will hunt you down and make you pay.  It might take almost 10 years but we'll eventually get you and you will never feel completely safe again."  While I feel that Osama's death was necessary, I don't really get the release that I usually feel when justice has been done.

I wonder what terror Osama had in the works that will never come to fruition.  How many lives were possibly saved by his death?  Only God knows, I guess, but I can't help but think about it.

As I said, my head is spinning this morning.  I think I'll get on the treadmill for a while.