Bad...

So my husband and I had a fight today.  Not a knock-down-drag-out yelling-at-each-other-and-throwing-things fight but it was a definite argument.  It all boiled down to his usual irritation with my inability to keep a museum-clean house.  He fell short of accusing me of being a bad wife and mother but it was implied.  He did come right out and admit that he thinks I sit at home and do nothing all day or the house would be cleaner.  Apparently he's been waiting for me to shape up for our entire marriage.  He "let" me be a stay-at-home-mom and now I haven't come through with what he views as my end of the bargain.  When I protested that there's a lot to do as a stay-at-home-mom, he retorted that this is what I asked for when I wanted to stay home.  At that point I shut up because I just didn't know what to say.

At first I was very offended and upset.  Now, I've realized that he was partially justified.  He's absolutely right.  I don't keep a clean house and if that's his definition of a good wife, then he's getting shortchanged. He's also right that he's been asking for this since we got married and I haven't been able to deliver.  For my husband, I'm not a good wife and, by extension, not a good mother and I don't know how to change it.  My husband is unhappy in our marriage and I know it and still can't seem to make myself a better housekeeper.  Maybe a good start would be to get off of here and go clean my kitchen.