"I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.” Esther 4:16.
I've had that phrase running through my head for the last couple of weeks. How much different could my life be if I lived in that place? If I didn't worry so much about being "safe" and just went for it? Just no holds barred, full bore, balls out go for it. Wow.
Now, I realize that it took Esther a while to get to that place. She didn't start out as the brave queen that I idolized as a child. She was a selfish coward just like me. The thing is, she had every right to feel sorry for herself and say, "Let the rest of the Jews worry about themselves. I've got my own problems." The king of Persia was not her Prince Charming that saved her from a life of poverty and they lived happily ever after. This was no Edward and Victoria love story. This man had the power to order her killed on a whim. He had an entire harem of women that were at his disposal day and night. There was no future of familial bliss in her outlook.
However, she grasped her destiny with both hands and rose to the occasion to leave Hadassah behind and become Queen Esther. How often have I let my destiny pass me by because of my fears? Maybe I need to write some PostIts with "If I perish, I perish" and leave them around the house to remind me not to let my destiny slip away because of fear, worry and the need to feel "safe."
This is good, Dianne. I too am tired of acting according to the worst that I fear can happen. Always playing it safe. I know we can't always be crazy and throw caution to the wind, but I tend to be an all or nothing person. So I am learning to stop being so ALL about fear and enjoy this short time God has given me. I am increasingly aware lately that I am not promised tomorrow. I have more dear friends my age fighting terminal illnesses than my heart can take. I have been struggling with fear like never before. It is something I have really been taking to the Lord. I too want to be free to be!
ReplyDeleteSlowly but surely a bold intolerance is rising up in me to kick the devil's butt about fear. One of my favorite quotes is by John Eldridge "Man fully alive is God fully glorified." This is what I want to be said of my life, that I was fully alive and fully glorified my God because of it.
Love your blogs, girl. Keep them coming.
Susanna